Man Time

  I don't know what it is but in my experience men have no sense of time. For example Mr. Real Estate will spend 2 hours with his son and then go on and on about how he had him all day. Two hours is not all day lets get that point across first it is two hours. At the same time Mr. Real Estate will say he is going to meet (Toby's dad) for a drink and be back in 2 hours and comes back four hours later. How dose that work that the internal clock of a man can't run like real clock and is so off one way or the other? If you ask me it has to do with the fun factor.........

It's a good thing you like Knee socks

As i may have made clear in other post my daughter is a spirited young girl! That being said it's a good thing she likes knee socks because she will be attending catholic school k-12 because she needs the discipline all day not just at home. I would also like to see some of that catholic guilt rub off on her as well.

So you might ask what is the event that took place to send Mr. Real Estate and i over the edge? Let me tell you it was a proud moment for us and i hope you will understand why. After Soccer we took Bailey out for brunch and Coach Kelly out for a bloody Mary and talked about our favorite subject Halloween. Bailey then broke out into song and i will let the words of the song lead you down the direction of what she did not once, not twice but three times in a row. Even the threat of no Halloween and time out did not work to stop the madness she had to be carried out.


Trick or Treat Smell my feet
give me something good to eat
if you don't i don't care
I'll pull down my underwear


We just feel if she is 3 and acting like this the stricter the school the better.

4 things i am crazy about for Fall

Kate Spade
cherie coat
$695.00
I love, love, love this coat! ordered it the day it was available!




Sky zone indoor trampolean park!
Check it out i did the class they offer and burned 600 calories. Best workout ever
http://minneapolis.skyzonesports.com/home.aspx





Dolce & Gabbana

Miss Sicily Deerskin Leather Top-Handle Satchel
this bag is timeless so it is worth every dime of the $1,625!





Lululemon Method Wrap i'm in love!
http://shop.lululemon.com

step away from the BaDazzler!

I don't know what it is but my daughter has a particular taste for clothes that look like a BaDazzler went crazy on them. I don't know what it is but her taste screams my mom has a BaDazzler and probably also has state fair hair. I always thought i would get to guide her taste down the Ralph Lauren, j-crew, Burberry and Kate Spade road I have loved for my entire life. No joke from the time i could pick out my clothes i had the same taste so it must be hard wired into our souls. The sad thing is i judge me for the cloths she puts on in the morning. Dear god one only knows what her prom dress will look like. On the up side she is now putting cloths on everyday.

And I am back......

After 6 weeks of being a mother of two i am back to the real world. I wanted my first blog back to be the top 10 things i have learned over the past 6 weeks, because it has been eye opening......

10. Boys are little men from day one

9. Having your two year old tell people at target she has to go home and pump her boobs is priceless.

8. Rocking a one piece swimsuit is not as old women as i thought....
(My stomach is not ready for the world)

7. I love infomercials and for my next job i would like to be the star of one!

6. Mr. Real Estate can only stay home alone with two kids for 11 min without freaking.

5. My hair dresser is a god for letting me bring one of my spawn with me when i come in so i don't look homeless.

4. flying with 2 kids was not hard at all. I just had more stuff.

3. shopping online should be outlawed after 3 a.m.

2. I am truly thankful for the MN nice because a MN man will always open a door, grab your cart as it rolls away at target, help you fold a stroller at security and hand you a 20.00 you just dropped.

1. Two children is better then one!

Yes I know how to read!

Today I was at a school working and overheard two boys talking and one of the boys was being not so nice and making fun of his buddy for not knowing what something said and the other boy yelled at him and said "yes I know how to read". For whatever reason this triggered all the memories for me of learning how to read that was made even more strange because it was the women who took the time to teach me how to reads birthday. To be completely honest with you i had forgot today was my Grandmothers Birthday until i was listing to these little boys talk.

One summer when my family made the trip back to the hills of West Va. my Grandmother being the teacher she was decided she would help my mom out and teach her dyslexic granddaughter how to read. She bought two books for me Double Decker bus and one about a little girl picking fruit. I only remember the bus book because it was the first book i ever read. By giving me the gift of reading my grandmother gave me a world i would have never known if not for her. I have solved crimes with Nancy drew, scared myself silly with R.L. Stine, talked to god with Margret, lived a life of privilege with Tori Spelling, had adventures with the 4 March girls in little women, been invited to the extravagant party's of Jay Gatsby, and most recently lived the life of a back woods bar maid with Sookie Stackhouse in Charlaine Harris series.


So thanks Grandma you changed my life and gave me adventure even if the books i read are not always intellectual i am always entertained and i believe that's what books are meant to do.

Do you ever think to yourself my kid is a bit odd?

people always think it is so cute and funny when kids do and say crazy things. I am not saying it's not but some times the things my daughter dose are down right odd. we love her and laugh with her most of the time. These are a few of my favorites over the past few weeks.

1. The other day Bailey took off her pants and put markers and paint on her butt. I asked her why and did not get an answer. (i hope she dose not get bunch of tattoos as an adult)

2. question from Bailey......
how dose the little mermaid go potty?

3. Bailey will get into a particularly odd mood and lick peoples clothing.

4. when she defecates Bailey talk to herself and says....
"I'm pushing the poop"
"I'm pushing the poop out of my butt"
"i did it"

5. I want to smell the dogs butt when he poops
(why is all i can say)

It is hard to make parenting glamor filled some times when you talk about body functions 75% of the time. But you can still have your Gucci bag and Jimmy Choo shoes and talk about poop and look fab doing it all.

Life Lessons

Miss Bailey has had to learn some life lessons as of late and Mr. Real Estate and I hope we have started to impart some wisdom on her. We are keeping our fingers crossed that we have not screwed her up to much. This is Bailey's top 6 life lessons as of late.

1. why can't i play Tennis in heels

ME:who said you can't?

MRE: Because it is impractical to run. If you want to be a tennis star like Dora you need to have on tennis shoes.

2. I want to go potty outside

MRE: go for it........

Me: Laddies don't us the restroom outside.... If you are not a lady you can't have tea party's or dress like a princes.

3.can i be naked

ME/MRE: If you want but you might get cold, chapped, burnt, hurt, not allowed in public and a number of other reasons.

4.why do i need to wash my hair

Me: Because if you don't other kids will not play with you because you are smelly.

5. Can we save the worms on the driveway

ME: yes it's good for your karma whatever you put out will come back.

6. Why am I in Time out

MRE and ME: Because when i ask you to do something or to stop doing something it is not a request.


we shall see if any of our wisdom sticks or even if it is good wisdom to pass on.

Reverse polygamy

The other day I read an article about some crazy women that had 3 husbands! I thought to myself why would any women want three husbands? Then it struck me i would want 6 husbands if 5 of them could be gay! I would sill want to be married to Brian so he could be husband number one. Husband number two would be a hair dresser/makeup/stylist. Husband number 3 would be into literature, arts and theater. Husband number four would be a trainer and health nut a chef. Husband number 5 would would be great with kids and write children's books. Last but not least Husband number six would be on E news and know all the great gossip before they hit the weekly's.

So yes I could have more then one husband if the rest were gay fabulous men! To me the point of polygamy is so one person can get every thing they need in life this is the only way i could get it all in that life style.

Why men should not potty train!

My husband told my daughter she could poop outside like the dogs and now she will go to the door when she has to go like a dog! Nice Mr. Real Estate! I will let you deal with this one.... I don't even know what to say? Maybe i will try laddies don't poop outside.

Potty Training 101 Monette Style

Mr. Real Estate and I have been working with Bailey and this potty thing for a long time now! In fact we had her 90% potty trained about 8 months ago until she decided the potty was not for her. We have come to find out this is all because she dose not like the way pull-ups feel. If she had only been able to let us know that 8 months ago we would have been done by now. This is what we have done to get her on the pot for good it is some what outside of the box but I think that my toddler is somewhat outside the box.

- Mr.Real Estate gives her the choice to go in the potty or outside like the dogs! Some times she dose go outside but never when I am home.

- We went full time in panties that she picked out. Because she hates cloths so much that is all she has on most of the time.

- The sticker chart so she can get her big prize!

- Looking at pictuers on dipper boxes and how they only have babys pictuers.

- bribes, bribes, and more bribes!

- Air planes don't let you on them with dippers so no more trips

- upgragde to difrent toe nail colors as you put more in the pot! If you get to sea foam green you are on the highest level

- We went to the Potty Dance at the MOA she thought it was wonderful


They may not all be outside of the box but they seem to work.

Trailer: The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia — Feature Narrat...

I want to say that over my mom's Boob job weekend I made her sit down and take in this documentary that is about a family in Boone county West Virginia. My Mom grew up about an hour and a half away from Boone county so I thought she may have some interest in this group. Apparently she was not as impressed as I was about just how trashy white trash can be because she felt bad for them. It must be the social worker left in her after all these years. She also pointed out how she never even met people like that when she lived in West Va. The best quote from my mom was " it sounds like he is proud to have brine damage from sniffing gas" My Grandma must have sheltered her to much!

No you didn't Girl!

I am going to start a new segment in my blog and once a week post called "no you didn't girl". Basically all "no you didn't girl" is a way to bitch it out about a person doing something rude, Stupid, inconsiderate or a man just being a man. I got the idea from my favorite show on satellite radio. The topics will not all be mine and because i have had a crazy week we are doing 5 today. Only two of the 5 happen to be me.

1. If you tell the TSA you don't want the body x-ray and to go ahead and pat you down don't try to Bully the person into it. NO means NO get out your wand and get to work.

(this is a "no you didn't at it's best)

2. If you are worried because a family member got a boob job don't call other people to ask about it! If you are truly concerned you call the person or ask the person you got the info from. When you bring in other people to talk about it then it's gossip and gossip shows a lack of concern.

(no you didn't)

3. Always flush in a public bathroom so the next person that comes in dose not have to see what you left behind.

(a man was talking about this one! I can only imagine.....)

4. Don't ride the bus if you are going to make comments about how people on the bus smell.

(no you didn't girl)

5. If you want green beer a few days before St. Patrick's understand that most bars will not have it available. It is not a reason to scream and yell at the bartender and ask for a manger.

(no you didn't girl)

I think you need a little Jesus

So today is Ash Wednesday and being the good Catholic i am embracing the season of lent. I have decided to do two different things for lent this year and one of them is to take Bailey to mass every Sunday. Last year i also took bailey to mass every Sunday but we could only stay for 15 min. You may ask why only 15 min? Well the fact that as soon as we walked into the church she would act like a demon may be why. No joke Father knew her by name by the end of lent because she was always walking out as he was walking in to do mass. This year i hope we can make it to the first reading at least. Bailey has been out of control as of late and i always tell her i think she needs a little Jesus to pull herself together. So maybe making it to the speaking part of mass will help give her a little Jesus.

On a different note and sort of a selfish note i have always had this j-crew/Ralph Lauren idea of being that good looking family at mass like the Kennedy's. In truth i feel in my family i am the only one that can hold up this look for now. I let Bailey pick out her own cloths so i more then likely have a wonder pet or a princess with me. As for Mr. Real Estate he is a good looking man but he often dose open houses on Sundays. Also my mom would tell me story's about when she was a girl she would go shopping with my grandma and Gammie after mass dressed to the nines including little white gloves. I would love to do that with Baily but she is not interested at this time. So I will have to put this idea on hold for the time being!

The phone, the phone is ringing

For the past few weeks every time my phone rings and Bailey is in range she sings "the phone the phone is ringing" it is a line from every episodes of Wonder Pets. Bailey loves the duck on the show that has a lisp. I think the ducks name is Ming. I don't know why but the lisp the duck has gets on my nerves. That being said i like the duck costume so much more then the princess dresses she would have to put on every day. I wonder what she will dress up as next these costumes don't hold up well.

The one must have for the Monette yet to be named!

The Phil and Ted
This bad boy is worth the money! Bailey likes this as well so it works out! Check out the website http://philandteds.com/

Top 10 things that happen in February 2011!

10. Southwest has a non-stop to DC and NYC!
9. The temp in MN was above 40 for more then 1 day!
8. Mr. Real Estate let me order my own Valentines day gift!
(for us this is the way to go a 100%)
7. The creepy picture of Jesus found a new home!
(congratulations Murphy Family I know you will take good care of him)
6. The Real House Wives of Miami
5. slow melt Popsicle's
4. Coconut water is now sold at the airport
3. My vintage dress is finished being restored
2. Bailey is over sponge bob
1. our new Love Sac (this may be the best thing ever)

Showering alone a luxury or a right?

I don't know if this is strange or not but Bailey freaks out if i shower and don't let her do her makeup in the bathroom at the same time. Before the makeup she would sit on the potty and before that she just wanted in the bathroom. It is so nice to not get a 100 question while you shower so showering alone is now my great luxury! My luxury for years was Kate Spade and Christian Louboutin shoes, oh how time changes you. I always thought privacy in the bathroom was a right..... I was wrong!

This is why I love the Hoff

You can thank me for this later!

Fish and Feet

I will be the first to tell you i am addicted to getting pedicures. I get them in airports (Thank you St.Louis it is your only redeeming Quality),between my cut and color at the salon,on days that are -20, on days that are 100 degrease, anytime i feel the calling. But this new Pedicure that some high end Salons are starting to offer i will never even try!



The fish used at the spa are Garra Rufa – a small, toothless variety of carp, sometimes known as the doctor fish or Kangal fish. They’re used to treat various skin conditions, psorasis in particular, and have long been a spa treatment in Turkey.

I am not even going to get into how dirty this water with fish in it must be. also other peoples feet go in the same water and they are dirty as well. Also small fish die easily and you might see some floaters.

Please let me know if any of you get this!

Men will never understand women

I recently found myself in stand off with Mr. Real estate over a new Kate Spade dress and Kate Spade shoes. When doing his weekly OCD walk throw my closet Mr. Real Estate sees a new garment bag from Nordstrom. He opens it up to see this dress......



He asked me why i had picked this dress up in the last week? I said I got it because i want to have it for the bridal shower i am going to give for Alisa in AUG. in Madison. Mr. Real Estate stops and thinks and looks at me and says did i pay for this or did you. I say i did and it was money well spent!

About an hour later after he looks at face book he comes to find me to tell me Alisa is not engaged. I look him in the face and say I know but she and i talked about it before i got the dress and she will be. Mr.Real Estate looks at me and dose not talk for like 10 min and when he finely speaks says dose her boyfriend know. Laughing I say i assume so why? Because i think you and your friends are crazy! Little dose he know about the other dress I got for the engagement party also Kate Spade. If he only knew the things we plan out before we tell the men.

top 10 best things to do during nap time

10. On the weekends in the summer, spring, and fall Mr. Real Estate and I would make that hour into happy hour. A few apps and a bottle of wine........

9. Take in a show i have saved on the DVR

8. Run on the treadmill

7. Shop online (Tuesdays have the best sales online)

6. yoga! But only if i know i have 45 min with no interruptions.

5. sit outside in the sun and read (in the summer)

4. clean but only if it must be done

3. shower without an auddince

2. read Poeople, US, OK, and Life and Style

1. Just sit in the quite.

The new Love of my Life

Look at these new Manolo Blahniks! I could just die and go to heaven, to quote Rachel Zoe "these are so major"

BAILEY MONETTE

Some times bad parenting is a must..... Just look how cute miss Bailey Mo is in this video. A good bribe works!

The best cloths for travel

Best bag ever made for travel. The color of black is impotent for being put under the seat.





Tory Burch flats! Best ever



They make the best t-shirt ever!


I love love love Lu Lu Lemon Black pants. They also make a great travel dress. Take a look at the web site.
http://shop.lululemon.com/women_pants/pl/c/560.html


Cashmere Cardigan- keeps you warm and has a level of comfort and better then a sweatshirt

Your Fired

Yesterday i had to Fire Mr.Real Estate from parenting because he asked if I thought Bailey would be a stripper because she hates cloths. How could he think that about my baby!