Reverse polygamy

The other day I read an article about some crazy women that had 3 husbands! I thought to myself why would any women want three husbands? Then it struck me i would want 6 husbands if 5 of them could be gay! I would sill want to be married to Brian so he could be husband number one. Husband number two would be a hair dresser/makeup/stylist. Husband number 3 would be into literature, arts and theater. Husband number four would be a trainer and health nut a chef. Husband number 5 would would be great with kids and write children's books. Last but not least Husband number six would be on E news and know all the great gossip before they hit the weekly's.

So yes I could have more then one husband if the rest were gay fabulous men! To me the point of polygamy is so one person can get every thing they need in life this is the only way i could get it all in that life style.

Why men should not potty train!

My husband told my daughter she could poop outside like the dogs and now she will go to the door when she has to go like a dog! Nice Mr. Real Estate! I will let you deal with this one.... I don't even know what to say? Maybe i will try laddies don't poop outside.

Potty Training 101 Monette Style

Mr. Real Estate and I have been working with Bailey and this potty thing for a long time now! In fact we had her 90% potty trained about 8 months ago until she decided the potty was not for her. We have come to find out this is all because she dose not like the way pull-ups feel. If she had only been able to let us know that 8 months ago we would have been done by now. This is what we have done to get her on the pot for good it is some what outside of the box but I think that my toddler is somewhat outside the box.

- Mr.Real Estate gives her the choice to go in the potty or outside like the dogs! Some times she dose go outside but never when I am home.

- We went full time in panties that she picked out. Because she hates cloths so much that is all she has on most of the time.

- The sticker chart so she can get her big prize!

- Looking at pictuers on dipper boxes and how they only have babys pictuers.

- bribes, bribes, and more bribes!

- Air planes don't let you on them with dippers so no more trips

- upgragde to difrent toe nail colors as you put more in the pot! If you get to sea foam green you are on the highest level

- We went to the Potty Dance at the MOA she thought it was wonderful


They may not all be outside of the box but they seem to work.

Trailer: The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia — Feature Narrat...

I want to say that over my mom's Boob job weekend I made her sit down and take in this documentary that is about a family in Boone county West Virginia. My Mom grew up about an hour and a half away from Boone county so I thought she may have some interest in this group. Apparently she was not as impressed as I was about just how trashy white trash can be because she felt bad for them. It must be the social worker left in her after all these years. She also pointed out how she never even met people like that when she lived in West Va. The best quote from my mom was " it sounds like he is proud to have brine damage from sniffing gas" My Grandma must have sheltered her to much!

No you didn't Girl!

I am going to start a new segment in my blog and once a week post called "no you didn't girl". Basically all "no you didn't girl" is a way to bitch it out about a person doing something rude, Stupid, inconsiderate or a man just being a man. I got the idea from my favorite show on satellite radio. The topics will not all be mine and because i have had a crazy week we are doing 5 today. Only two of the 5 happen to be me.

1. If you tell the TSA you don't want the body x-ray and to go ahead and pat you down don't try to Bully the person into it. NO means NO get out your wand and get to work.

(this is a "no you didn't at it's best)

2. If you are worried because a family member got a boob job don't call other people to ask about it! If you are truly concerned you call the person or ask the person you got the info from. When you bring in other people to talk about it then it's gossip and gossip shows a lack of concern.

(no you didn't)

3. Always flush in a public bathroom so the next person that comes in dose not have to see what you left behind.

(a man was talking about this one! I can only imagine.....)

4. Don't ride the bus if you are going to make comments about how people on the bus smell.

(no you didn't girl)

5. If you want green beer a few days before St. Patrick's understand that most bars will not have it available. It is not a reason to scream and yell at the bartender and ask for a manger.

(no you didn't girl)

I think you need a little Jesus

So today is Ash Wednesday and being the good Catholic i am embracing the season of lent. I have decided to do two different things for lent this year and one of them is to take Bailey to mass every Sunday. Last year i also took bailey to mass every Sunday but we could only stay for 15 min. You may ask why only 15 min? Well the fact that as soon as we walked into the church she would act like a demon may be why. No joke Father knew her by name by the end of lent because she was always walking out as he was walking in to do mass. This year i hope we can make it to the first reading at least. Bailey has been out of control as of late and i always tell her i think she needs a little Jesus to pull herself together. So maybe making it to the speaking part of mass will help give her a little Jesus.

On a different note and sort of a selfish note i have always had this j-crew/Ralph Lauren idea of being that good looking family at mass like the Kennedy's. In truth i feel in my family i am the only one that can hold up this look for now. I let Bailey pick out her own cloths so i more then likely have a wonder pet or a princess with me. As for Mr. Real Estate he is a good looking man but he often dose open houses on Sundays. Also my mom would tell me story's about when she was a girl she would go shopping with my grandma and Gammie after mass dressed to the nines including little white gloves. I would love to do that with Baily but she is not interested at this time. So I will have to put this idea on hold for the time being!

The phone, the phone is ringing

For the past few weeks every time my phone rings and Bailey is in range she sings "the phone the phone is ringing" it is a line from every episodes of Wonder Pets. Bailey loves the duck on the show that has a lisp. I think the ducks name is Ming. I don't know why but the lisp the duck has gets on my nerves. That being said i like the duck costume so much more then the princess dresses she would have to put on every day. I wonder what she will dress up as next these costumes don't hold up well.

The one must have for the Monette yet to be named!

The Phil and Ted
This bad boy is worth the money! Bailey likes this as well so it works out! Check out the website http://philandteds.com/