10 things I will take away from 2010

10. If you go to the beach you will always get sand in your swim suit! If you have a two year old the sand will be found for days.

9. Don't ever get a brow wax or any other impotent grooming activity done in West Virginia. (I still have one bad brow)

8. Lexus makes the best SUV ever (thanks Mr. Real Estate)! That car is so quite it is like being on a cloud.

7. The Kindle is one of the best items one can have.... Well done Amazon, well done.

6. Don't leave a toddler in a bathroom unattended even for 30sec. That 30sec may lead to costly damage.

5. I am lucky to have faith it can get you into the right place to deal with what life may hand you or your loved ones.

4. Every Family has it's crazy's be glad it's your extended family.

3. I love the theater

2. I have found that I am lucky to find a way to be happy no matter what is going on in my life. I have learned most people can't do this for them self.

1. Mr. Real Estate is right about 90% of the time and it makes me crazy.

OMG I am a Minnesotan

So I think Minnesota has finely rubbed off on me! Today I was in St. Louis and they had a rain storm / Ice storm and all the people were talking about how cold it was outside. All i could think was it's not that bad it is 33 degrease that's not that cold. It looks like i am a real Minnesotan now that i have no sympathy for people who say it cold when it's above -0. They have never felt cold...... Also closing schools for an inch of snow and rain come on what a waste!

My run in with the TSA

Today at the airport I had my first run in with the TSA. I want to start by saying that i fly every week for work so this is not a new drill for me. I also want to add that TSA's are jerks most of the time but come on if that was your job you would be a jerk too. That being said i am always nice and understanding because i get that it's part of the job. So today a 5 a.m. when I handed the women my ID and ticket i was shocked when she asked me to step to the side after she looked at it for a second. My first thought was maybe something was wrong with the ticket I had. Then the TSA women called over her boss and said this women handed me a fake ID with her ticket! (I HAD A BITCH PLEASE MOMENT IN MY HEAD) I looked at the women and her boss and in my most monotone voice said is this some sort of a joke? The Boss looked at me and then looked at my valid Colorado drivers ID and said "This states Kelly Wilcoxson has blond hair and green eyes". My answer back was my eye's are a green /blue color and my natural hair color is brown and i went back to it! The TSA then asked me if i had a different photo id and i did my costco card and that was not a good ID for a TSA. The TSA then called the HEAD TSA and he took one look at my ID and said this is the same women look at her!

The part that made me a little up set was that this all unfolded in front of a line of people that thought i was going to bomb a plane. I think the TSA may need to talk to people about this type of thing in privet or away from a line of 50 people. I have never had a problem with the TSA but i can see why people get upset. last i would like to add they could have scanned my ID like they do at bars and had a larger picture show up!

One more thing after i made it to the gate like 10 people asked to see my ID to see if i looked like my ID. All of these 10 people laughed because other then the hair color i look the same.

Oh I forgot to add that this took 25 -30 min and i thought i would miss my flight.

The Picture from our Christmas card

This is the picture we took of our streaker when she stripped at the beach and ran away. It may not be a classic card photo but it is classic Bailey.

Let's call it #22

Lets call it reason #22 not to live in MN!

What Happen to my baby?

What happen to my little angelic baby? Today after a particular rough day with my toddler I realized how fast the past 2 and a half years have flown by. so I thought i would look back at some pictures and i found my favorite. This is of Brian and Bailey the day she left the hospital.

My Guy is back

What a great idea for a show. I am going to be the number one viewer. I bet this will be a #1 show in Germany.

What parents are concerned about now!

Just when you thought the college campuses of America were safe from the caffeinated alcohol Four Loko, it seems there's another sugary alcoholic treat threatening the sobriety of our youth. This time it's Whipped Lightning, an alcohol-infused whipped cream (AKA "whipahol") that comes in flavors like Tropical Passion and Strawberry Colada. It costs between $10 and $13 a can. And stupid teenagers are "drinking" it, which of course leads to trouble.

 I think it sounds so good and I am going out to look for it today! I have come up with about 100 ways to use it!   Cheers

The stress of the perfect Christmas card picture

  I have to admit that I am vary jealous of some of my friends Christmas cards. I get theses amazing photos of children that look like they could be in a catalog and have cloths on. Bailey has had professional photos 5 times in two years and the only photographer who ever got great photos was a pro and works with major celebrities in the music industry. With that said a two year old was no challenge for her. So this year when it came time to get some photos for the old family Christmas card i knew it was a 50/50 shot she would be clothed.

Best picture i got the first day! about 100 reasons this would not work.

 

This was in October and it was a hot day so she got in the lake. It was not the look i was going for that day. We did use a picture from this day but it is not what you would think.

She was to distracted by the leafs to give me a big smile.

I hope you all are now looking forward to getting our Christmas card to see the picture we picked! I will give you a hint ........... No faces are in the picture.

It is Time for our Book!

   For years my Friend Alisa an I have felt the calling to write a book called Go back to bed get up and make a better choice or What were you thinking when you got up. This book would cover some simple bad life ideas that have made us crazy as far back as our Kappa Kappa Gamma days. We have decided to take the plunge and write the book wish us luck! I feel we are publishing worthy!

Halloween

Daddy drink in hand heading out to get his girl candy!

My chick could not control herself for the 5 min it took Brian to come outside to take her trick or treating. she came to our house with 3 groups of kids.

This is what Mickey looks like on a pumpkin. I was impressed it turned out pumpkin has never been my best canvas for art. Bailey cried today when i went to toss the pumpkins.

What can I say my girl likes all things Halloween! When we carved our pumpkins they had to be mickey. On a side note she would not stick her hand in the pumpkin, and said it was hot.

Fall In Minnesota

One of the best parts of fall in MN is the changing leaves. I think it is the best on the lake.

The Vikings season starts and it gives most of the men i know something to do on cold days before ice fishing starts. Also on the Sundays that the Vikings play Brian can't do open houses because know one would show up so we get to see him more. Also when talking to a true MN native you can talk all things vikes makes work convo flow when i am at schools.

Not my thing but a big deal in the MN even to the city people!

Most of all fall in MN is when it get's cold! Because of this cold you can now tell the natives from those of us that have relocated to MN. The natives will sport summer cloths and do water sports in the lake until it freezes over. As you can see Bailey is a native in the cold lake. Bailey even took a leap in to Lake Superior a few weeks ago even natives don't feel the need to do that (that lake is freaking cold all year round).

Sister Wives - First Sneak Peek

What can I say this show creeps me out. In the words of my husband who wants 4 wives and some of those girls are large. Also the dad Kody looks like Ted Bundy and that among other reasons i find creepy. I don't know if i can continue to watch this show because i want to slap Kody and a few of the wives.

Women put some cloths on.................

Well, it has happen my daughter is now a nudest by choice not by chance. Before Bailey would end up in her birthday suite by chance after a bath, running off while getting dressed, and swimming at Papa's. But now my baby girl can take off all of her cloths and run free. Every day I get to see her drop her cloths and streak around the house. The only way we could keep her clothed would be to duck tape her in! Toddlers are a lot more challenging then i ever thought. I hope she dose not do this in the winter or her little but cheeks will get chapped.

Who is this women

 Rachel Uchitel, the party girl best known as Tiger Woods ho number 1can't seem to keep her hands off married men. I think she needs to go back to the hole from witch she came. If you ask me she looks a little skanky so i don't know what all these men would see in her. I thought maybe the Tiger thing was a slip up but apparently not.

Rachel also hooked up with this man who is married! I get that the men are to blame but come on girl the world is full of single men that would love you and respect you. Time to move past your daddy issues.

Your 2nd Birthday

I asked Bailey what she wanted to do for her birthday and her first idea was potty and her second was cow, sheep and pink. In bailey's world pink is princes so for her MN party that will be the theme. Bailey's 4 year old cousin Diego picked out her Colorado theme Yo Gabba Gabba (monsters). I think they are great themas but it is hard to find a real cow with a tiara to come to your house I only hope PaPa will put on the moono costume!

In bad taste at a funeral- my mama raised me better then that... Thank God!

Don't do it! When it comes down to it shows a lack of respect

Put the girls away! come on laddies boobs are a no no at baptisms and funerals!

Any shorter then this skirt in down right inappropriate! look for a man or try to be sexy on your own time.

Last but not least keep your shoes on! who know whats on the floor at a funeral home...

Don't Hate the Hoff

What can i say dream about the Hoff once a month! I dream that i meet him in a mall in Montana. I just love him and I love the German people for letting this video happen. This was a number one hit in Germany!

This has been a long two weeks

As some of you may know in the past two weeks i have lost two grandmas. My mothers, mother died Monday July, 26 2010 and it was a shock because i was leaving Wednesday on a trip to see her. My fathers Mother died Saturday August 7th. We Knew Betty Jane was sick and her time with us was limited but it is still so hard to lose her. I have leaned on my catholic faith in this time but it is still hard to say good bye to these lovely ladies. All i can say is that i am hoping for no more deaths in the family we need some time to heal from all this.

say goodbye

Mildred G. Tomlinson, 81, of Huntington, died Monday, July 26, 2010 in Cabell Huntington Hospital. Funeral Liturgy will be held 10 a.m. Friday, July 30, 2010 at the St. Joseph Catholic Church by Monsignor Lawrence Luciana, Celebrant. Entombment will follow in Woodmere Memorial Park. Mildred was born May 16, 1929 in New Britain, CT., daughter of the late Herbert L. and Mildred McCarthy Godschalk. In addition to her parents, she is preceded in death by her husband, Donald W. Tomlinson Sr. Mrs. Tomlinson taught school for 50 plus years at various schools and the last 25 years at St Joseph Catholic High School in Huntington. She was also a member of the St. Joseph Catholic Church. Survivors include her four children: James and wife Gerri Hall of Huntington, Dolly Wilcoxson and husband Bill of Aurora, CO, Christa Palmer and husband Douglas of Littleton, CO, and Donald W. Tomlinson and wife Amanda of Bristow, VA. Four step-daughters, Mary Jean, Martha, Elizabeth, and Barbara. Nine grandchildren, Shane Hall, Ashlee Potter, Kelly Monette, Cody Wilcoxson, Will, Hope and Piper Tomlinson and Diego and Lydia Palmer; 26 great-grandchildren; a brother, Herbert “Bud” Godschalk Jr. of Staunton, VA and many nieces and nephews. In lieu of flowers, it is suggested memorial contributions be made to the St. Joseph Catholic High School of Huntington. The family will receive friends 6 to 8 p.m. Thursday, July 29, 2010 at Klingel Carpenter Mortuary.

2 on day 2

How cute was my running partner on the 4th of July! We got 2 miles in today before she jumped out of the jogger! way to go Bailey!

1.43

I ran 1.43 miles before Bailey got out of the jogger. Slow start......

Time tho Shape up

For the past 2 months i have been the biggest slacker in the world when it comes to running. So I am going to post every day how far i have run. I hope to do a half marathon in dec. and finish with a good time. So my lazy butt is off and running.........

A new fave all should try

The new Fave all around is the Jeremiah Weed! Mix it with lemonade and water you will be transported to Savanna GA sitting on a porch in a rocking chair and feeling a nice breeze on your face.

Also i would like to add do not make your own at a restaurant or they may get mad!

Nap Time is my new happy hour...........

Brian and i have made nap time our new happy hour on saturdays. We have a few appetizers and drinks and sit on the deck. It is like the days before children when you could start drinking before 10 a.m.

Do I like Tea or just the idea of tea?

I don't know if I like hot tea or just the idea of drinking hot tea. I feel a pro con list coming on so i can see the light on this dilemma i have on my hands.


Pro
the cool cup
tea pot sound
fruity flavor teas
High tea with champagne (with my mom)
The feeling of holding a steamy cup and good book



Con
stains teeth
Makes me pee about 100 times per cup
after taste of Earl gray
Tea bags are messy in the trash
taste of most tea hot(i like most tea cold)



As you can see the jury is still out on my relationship with hot tea. Can you spice it up with liquor? I will have to ask someone English if that is ok!

I Think this sums up the way Bailey and i feel about one and other today! If she would just sit on the potty our lives would not be full of wee and poop. Serenity Now................

Why is it that once the kids get the whole potty thing they still don't want to do it all the time. It really gets on your last nerve some to have a person that poops in her pants yelling no about sitting on the potty and then poop on the floor and want an M&M.

Sitting in the airport in STL

I am sitting in the airport in St. Louis delayed for a life time so i am drinking drinks made from exotic juices with shots of rum and eating mexican food. The women sitting next to me was writing a blog and i asked her what she was writing about and she made a list of 30 things no one knew about her. She said it was hard because most people know alot about you so I thought i would try................

1. I love the taste of Vegemite!

( I cant find it in MSP)

2. I have been looking for a pillow like the one i had in collage for about a year. Bailey puked all over the old one. I Have not slept as well since it has been gone.

3. I have like 6 different deodorants

4. I hate the sound of people chewing gum.

5. It drives me crazy when people don't speak English correctly.

( my mom killed me with that, I cant take it)

6. I like popcorn more then any one can know

7. until Bailey came wally (the dog) slept in my bed every night with his head on a pillow.

8. I go to church a lot

9.

I want an i-pad so much but i don't think i have a use for it because i have a kindle, mac book pro, Black Berry, and an i-pod. i still want one so bad i dream about them at night.

10. I don't like shredded meat.

11. I hate the taste of ham and i want bailey to dis like ham as well.

12. i like to get pedicures at the airport!

13. I have 30 i-tune movies and all but 5 of them are for Bailey she travels all the time.

14. If i ware an outfit to a funeral i never put it on again (just realized that one)

15. I bite my nails when i am board

16. i love to play wii but not by myself

17. when i am at a bar by myself people always talk to me even when i give the don't talk to me vibe.

18. I think the story of us is the best movie ever ( most people have never seen it)

19. when i was a swim coach i shaved some of my boy's legs outside in a large group

20. I can't think of 30 things

Making the world more beautiful one gay man at a time!

This group of men may as well be my ex boyfriends because i have had more ex boyfriends come out as gay then any other women I know. Most of them were boys i dated in high school, but still most women can't say this has happen to them. After talking to my GH (gay husband) about this i figured out why i always liked gay men and why they like me (as BFF's)

1. I like clean men

2. I like well dressed men

3. I like men that like to read and discuss books.

4. I like french food

5. i love cloths

6. i like men who will gossip about gossip magazines

7. I like men who wax the brows

8. I like manie/peddie buddies

9. I wanted a shopping buddy

10. I like men that drink fun and umbrella drinks.

11. I wanted a man that loves the questions in the back of Vanity Fair

12. I love Hand Bags

13. I like to spend money and don't feel bad about it.

After relating this list to me i wonder how i ever met a non gay man men!

But i gave the world a hand full of the most amazing gay men the world has to offer! The partners of these men should thank me!

A spa in the airport

Today I have found a new love for southwest airlines! Southwest has a spa in it's St. Louis Terminal. Nothing is better then a message at 8 a.m. when you have had a long week in a stinky city. If you are ever in this spa ask for Ella she is a dream!

grocery store Feet

I love flip flops more then any women can love a shoe. They have all the things a great shoe can offer open air, comfort, utility, ability to mach many outfits, and so much more. Yet yesterday at my brothers baseball game i was reminded of the one thing I don't like about flip flops "grocery store feet". You may ask what are grocery store feet? I will tell you they are the bottom of you feet being so dirty you look like you walked around the grocery store with no shoes on. It is the one thing that gross me out after a night out with flip flops on to see black dirt come off my feet in the shower. If any of you have ideas to keep your feet clean in flip flops let me know. The perfect flip flop would keep your feet clean.

Only in Iowa

Only in Iowa would it be ok to deep fry all vegetables. In Burlington at the Catfish Bend Inn and spa they have a deep fried salad. I know you all want to come on my exotic travels. Next time i am going to get the corn............
Also if I do say so myself all the people in Iowa are super tall. I don't get how they grow like that, maybe it is the food.

I want some new shoes

I want these Jimmy Choo's

I Love Denver]

I miss my home state and wish i could come back for good! Oh Denver why do you have to be so perfect?

Time give a little thanks

Today i dedicate my blog to my best buddy, team mate, punching bag, cheerleader, critic, lover, dish washer, athletic trainer, banker, toddler wrangler, dog walker, stylist, sugar daddy, driver, alarm clock, therapist, car oil changer, popcorn popper, tear wiper, hand holder, pizza boy, and husband. The past 3 years have flown by so fast and your girls are so lucky to have you!

Mean Drunks

I don't know what it is but some people are so mean when they drink, I call it MWD (mean when drunk). The part of the mean when your drunk that i don't get is that the next day these MWD people think that all is forgiven because "they were drunk". They could say the worst thing imaginable to you like"you have small hands that smell like cabbage" and get away with it! If i was a cruel drunk i would stop drinking................. I think a lot of MWD also have drinking problems because why would you want to be mean to people you care about.

We love Cody

My brother Cody writes a wonderful blog for ping baseball. you all should take the time to take a look at it even if you don't like sports. His writes not only for those who like baseball but for those who remember being 20. Cheers cody next stop ESPN BLOG!

http://www.pingbaseball.com/blogs/?author=25

Red Bull

Today I had a morning meeting with the VP of sales and as we were talking he opened a Red Bull. You may ask what is so bad about a Red Bull? I will tell you and if you have a weak stomach don't read on. My friend Amy post fun fact every day and about 4 months ago her post was that red bull is made in-part of cow stomach lining. I hope you can see where i am going with this............

So when the VP of sales opened his can of cow the thought of what was in it alone made me feel like puking. After the can was opened i have know idea what he was talking about all i could think about was the red bull. It took all of my will not to say do you know what you are drinking.

Thanks Amy!

I wish i could travel with Tweezers

Post 9/11 you can't bring tweezers on a plane. If i don't come up with some sort of plan i am going to look like this guy. I can't check a bag because i book my appt so close together. I have spent 50.00 over the past few months buying now tweezers in every city i go to. The worst part is i have to leave them after i buy them. I need a plan so i don't end up doing what i did today, trying to pluck by putting to coins together. Help!

What happen to my baby?

I have been dealing with some test of wills over the past few weeks and it is hard. All i can think about when Bailey gets mad and throws a fit is what happen to my baby. You can't help but think to yourself they grow up way to fast.

When they are 6 weeks old you want them to sleep throw the night and not nap all day. When they are 18 months old you think what happen to that second nap. I love my toddler but i also miss my baby.

I could take my baby to a restaurant or Target without WWIII because of something like eating Blue, yellow and green wax. I could take my baby to the mall without the passenger in the stroller trying to jump out on me. But i will say my toddler is loving and funny with a lot of spunk. It will be a few years until we can take Mo Mo as she calls herself now to Mortens but it will happen.

All and all i miss my baby but my toddler is a star.

drinking at 11:30 in the A.M.

I have had a long not so hot week at work. So today at 11:30 I thought to myself i would like to have a can of Sparkling Wine from down under so i did. I did the classy thing and drank it out of a straw while watching the past 2 weeks of the view (i love Elisabeth Hasselbeck).

Some people may think this is a little on the trashy side and i say you are wrong!

1. caned wine is better for the environment

2. the View helps me learn about all different peoples "view"of our world

3.look at the awards my wine has won ( i like the

green can)

4. I ate cucumber tea sandwiches with my

sparkling wine, that alone is classy.

all and all i push you all to try the caned sparkling wine it will change your life.

How to look sexy and sit on the pot?

I don't know what the title has to do with this post but i thought it was funny. i can only say for me personally people using the bathroom is not sexy. I know some people have some strange things they dig but come on, this should not one. The thought alone makes me want to shower until tuesday.

I more or less put this picture up because every time i go to the bathroom so dose Bailey. It would be nice to go alone some time and not have a small person trying to put toilet paper in the pot while I'm on it. This whole potty training thing is going to kill me i want to pee without help. Also i am over cleaning out the Bailey potty. They need to sell a self cleaning little person potty.

Death to the dust buster

About every two weeks Brian gets on an out of control cleaning kick. So we clean our house from top to bottom and the entire time he tells me how good it will make me feel (I never feel any different at the end). But today Brian hit a new low and in the end i felt some what irritated with him.

He gave me the dust buster and asked me to get the gaps between the rocks on the fireplace. I thought he was joking but he was not one bit. So i spent 2hr dust busting the rocks that make up our fireplace. I have never felt like i was wasting so much time in my life. When i felt the job was done Brian came to "check" my work. He thought i should get a rag and tooth brush to wipe it down. I then started to laugh but still did it for Brian. (by the way we keep a clean house all the time so nothing is dirty)

When i got done with my job Brian came and asked me how i felt. I looked at him and said i feel like i just used a dust buster on rocks then cleaned them with a tooth brush. He then said so you feel good! I may have to brake the dust buster and the small tools that come with it.

For the love of soup

I am in morning today because Campbells has discontinued my favorite flavor of soup in hand soup Potato. At only 100 calories it was so filling and warmed my sole. I first became a fan in 2004 just 2 weeks after it was released. It walked me throw the last 6 years with love and will be so missed.

Today i have spent the better part of an hr calling around so i can buy what is left in stores. I have only found 2. It is truly a sad day at the Monette's and a sad day for potato loving Americans.

Holy Cow

Some times i feel the need to drop the F-bomb. I know i can't in front of my kid so these are a list of some of the faux bad words I like to use..........

holy Cow

Cheese and Rice

Fricken

What the F (this one is Brian's)

Donkey (like you are acting like a donkey)

I assume some of my friends have better faux bad words and i would love to know them because i can only say you are such a donkey so often. Also maybe some more hip ways to blow off verbal steam.

Finely a shirt that promotes my favorite things. If only they had added wine and mexican food. Way to go Forward Montana i will sport this shirt with pride.

Matt and Jess way to go!

http://www.forwardmontana.org/

Crocodile Rock

For the past few weeks i have been running a lot in hope of being abel to run a half marathon in may. I not only want to finish i want to get a good time so i have been studying the way to get to that point. So every day i jump on the treadmill to run and rock out. I have been listening to a lot of Elton John and digging the way it keeps me moving. But to every thing you must have a down side, my down side is the Elton dreams. I can only say about these dreams that if i continue to have them i am going into therapy. On the up side in my dreams Elton has given me some fashion tips.